The Lesson
by Nemezis Rose
Summary: Just a little piece of funny nonsense. Severus Snape has a hangover and struggles with a headache during his SlytherinGryffindor lesson. Strange thoughts enter his troubled mind. R


The Lesson  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own the HP books. No matter how much I'd like to.  
  
AN: This episode kept bugging me for quite some time now and I just wanted it to get out of my head. Sorry for all possible mistakes. The story was inspired by a collection of stories about teachers and students, which I read quite some time ago. Unfortunately I don't remember the author. But the collection was really brilliant ^_^ Now to the story.  
  
Oh, one more thing: {Thinking}  
  
"Speaking"  
  
{Here we go again. . . } - Severus Snape sighed inwardly watching the classroom being filled with 6th year students from the doorway of his private laboratory.  
  
Slytherin and Gryffindor in the same room for double Potions.  
  
He was quite sure that Dumbledore had invented this combination just to irritate him. {Sadistic, good-for-nothing old bastard} - he though furiously. Severus looked at his watch and signed with resignation again - it was time to start the show. He swept into the classroom silently, his black robes flowing around him, an unpleasant scowl on his face.  
  
{Here I am, The Horror of Hogwarts! Aren't you afraid of me, kidsssss?} - trying not to pay attention to his own disturbing thoughts, Severus marched to his table and looked at the students menacingly:  
  
{Merlin's balls, how am I going to get through this with my head trying to drive me bonkers with pain??}  
  
Slytherins were looking at him silently, their faces set - they knew their head of the house well enough to behave the right way.  
  
The stupid cows - Brown and Patil were looking at him with round, frightened eyes and he scowled at them a little more than usually just to see them jump on their seats. {What a pitiful pair}.  
  
Neville Longbottom was looking at his hands, which were noticeably shaking.  
  
{Afraid to look into my eyes - as if I need this to make him shit in his pants}.  
  
Finnegan and Thomas looked at him with set faces, determined to look cool and calm. {Oh, well. If a Gryff is determined to do something, he'll either get what he wants or die determined}.  
  
{Well, well, well, what do we have here? Potter and his little sidekicks}.  
  
Weasley's face expression was showing as much of a stubborn determination as Finnegan's if not more.  
  
Granger actually looked calm and collected. {Well, she can afford it - the Insufferable Know-It-All}.  
  
And the last, but not the least - Potter himself, also looking calm and strangely at ease. Snape almost pinched himself when he noticed that Potter was actually smirking at him. Not a real smirk of course, just a small curve at the corner of his mouth. BUT STILL!  
  
Irritated enough now, Snape took a look at his notes. Aha, Healing potions! Today they had to brew a potion for healing burns - one of the most difficult ones. It also took more than 2 hours to brew the potion.  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for? You know what are we going to do today. At least I hope so. Prepare the ingredients and your caldrons" - he barked angrily and almost flinched from hearing his own, way too loud voice.  
  
{Oh, the joys of a hangover!!}  
  
The students obediently started to prepare for the task.  
  
{Good, this will make them busy for two hours straight and they won't have time for getting to each other's throats, but first.} - Snape rubbed his temples absentmindedly and glanced at Potter. Not only was he smirking openly now, but his emerald eyes were twinkling merrily behind his round glasses.  
  
{Why is he so damn cheerful today, I wonder? Well, he had just helped me to make a choice} - Snape scowled at the class and asked with his usual voice, quiet, but full of venom:  
  
"Is there somebody, who wants to tell me about the inventor of the potion we are working on today?" - Snape looked at Granger's raised hand and sighed:  
  
". . .and what was the reason behind the invention, except for the most obvious one of course?" - he looked VERY satisfied when Granger put her hand down, uncertain.  
  
"Well?" - Snape was just about to ask Potter, when he noticed that the little bastard was still smirking. He actually knows the answer? Well, he had to accept that after this summer Potter's attitude to Potions changed drastically. His grades were rivaling Granger's now. And Severus was quite sure, that he was even more talented than Malfoy in this particular area. Contrary to popular belief the little bastard was actually GOOD at the subject and didn't get good grades just because he was a Slytherin and a Malfoy.  
  
As for Granger - well, learning by heart is not everything, you have to have some natural talent too. And she wasn't extremely bright, just really studious. Snape, the best student Hogwarts ever had, could tell that. Unfortunately the other teachers didn't see it - she WAS incredibly studious after all, and the lack of natural pureblooded talent wasn't an issue for them. Maybe he was a bit too harsh on her, just a tiny little bit. . . Oh, well.  
  
No, not Granger - maybe she is not sure about the answer, but she probably knows it anyway. Snape glanced at Ron Weasley and immediately noticed the boy's discomfort.  
  
{Aha, here's my pray for today. . . And then if I just hold my head like this for the rest of the class maybe it won't hurt that much. . . }  
  
"Mr. Weasley! Answer the question".  
  
The boy jumped from his sit, his ears reddening: "Err. . . I don't know the answer. . ."  
  
Granger looked at him reproachfully. Her eyes were sending her boyfriend an unmistakable message: {Honestly!}  
  
"And why is that? Care to explain it to me?" - Snape's fingers were playing with his quill lazily.  
  
"Err. . . I had a headache. . . And we had a quiddich practice yesterday. . . And I had detention after that. . ." - obviously Weasley didn't prepare an explanation today.  
  
"Well, well, well. So many reasons. . . What should I do with you? Hmm. . . Twenty points from Gryffindor. And a detention with Mr. Filch. . . this Saturday, so that you have enough time to prepare for the next potions class" - Snape said in his usual quiet voice, although some students noticed that it lacked his usual malice today. His fingers continued to lazily play with his quill while he looked at Weasley's angry face. And his thoughts distracted by the horrendous hangover took an unusual direction.  
  
{Imagine how much he hates me right now. I can just imagine what he would have done to me if we were to change positions. . . }  
  
_____________________________________________________________________  
  
Ronald Weasley entered the classroom, his school robes dramatically flowing around him. He made himself comfortable, sitting casually right on Professor Snape's table and looked around, carefully examining the pale faces of his teachers, who were all sitting at the students' desks.  
  
The boy lingered for an unusually long minute, slowly examining professors' faces.  
  
"Well, who is going to answer my questions today? Maybe Professor Remus Lupin?"  
  
The DADA teacher's face became even paler than before as he stood up looking at Ron Weasley uncertainly.  
  
"You know Professor Lupin you have really disappointed me lately with your behaviour and your teaching methods" - Weasley said examining the teacher with narrowed eyes.  
  
"Why? Why, Mr. Weasley? I thought I was doing my best. . ."  
  
"Oh, really? Doing your best? Hmm, I don't think so" - Weasley drawled.  
  
"You see, because I'm not a small-minded person I won't scorn you about your patched clothes and lost buttons, although I know that you inherited some money this summer and can make yourself look presentable. . . This is not an important matter and I still fill shame for the times when such minor things were punished with detentions and points taken from students' houses. . . No, what I really want to say is. . . Don't you feel shame for your teaching methods? Do you really think that you are paid for playing bloody strip-poker with other Professors, drinking Firewhisky in enormous amounts and then going to your classes in such a condition, when DADA is the last thing on your mind? Huh?" - the redhead scowled at the cowering professor.  
  
Dumbledore, McGonagall, Flitwick, Sinistra and the new flying instructor and Potter's bodyguard Tonks were also looking at their student with horrified eyes after his last words.  
  
"I won't. . ." - Lupin stumbled - "It wasn't me. Professor Snape invited me to play poker. I didn't want to. It's his. . ."  
  
Weasley angrily hit the table with his fist: "Stop this horrible mumbling. I won't bloody encourage one teacher telling tales about the other. Shame on you! Sit down and think about your behaviour. Oh, and detention with Ms. Granger for five days strait. You'll be knitting hats for house elves for as long as she says each day".  
  
Lupin fainted for a minute and the room grew awfully quiet from horror.  
  
"Professor Snape!"  
  
"Here" - Severus quietly answered cowering just like Lupin did a couple of minutes ago.  
  
"I know you are here. Come closer. Right. Just now one of your unworthy sidekicks told me how you organised the game of strip-poker and provided your colleagues with Firewhisky yesterday. I assume he is telling the truth (since he always does). But I don't want to meddle with your private life. I'm better than that. I'm not even going to take points merely because I noticed you snogging Professor Tonks silly right on the Quiddich field this Tuesday" - Weasley smirked unpleasantly looking at pale Professors Snape and Tonks and angry Professor Lupin.  
  
"What I want to talk about is your attitude to your students and the teaching process. Blimey, it's worse than the worst!"  
  
"Why, Mr. Weasley? As far as I know I always attend my lessons" - Severus lowered his eyes.  
  
"So what? I'm not talking about your accuracy! (Although that hair of yours. . .) I'm talking about the attitude! Your harshness and dryness kill the students' interest at the subject. Shame on you! Your subject can be really interesting, but the way you are teaching it. . ! You are not a teacher, you are a murderer! A murderer of a subject! You don't like your subject and you don't like your students. And you can be sure - they don't like you as well!" - the boy scowled at his professor.  
  
"Tell me, what assignment did you give your 5th year students yesterday?"  
  
"Err. . ." - Snape glanced at his notes - "To read chapters 6 and 7 from their text-books".  
  
"And what exactly are the chapters about?"  
  
"I. . . I don't remember. . ." - Snape's head hang in shame.  
  
Weasley's face became stony as he angrily strolled closer to Snape:  
  
"Very well. Forty points will be taken from Slytherin. . ."  
  
"If he gives me detention with Granger as well I'm going to put a killing curse on myself" - Snape thought miserably. . .  
  
Snape scowled unpleasantly. Taking his eyes from the quill, which he was still twirling in his long fingers, Snape looked directly into the eyes of sad and frustrated Weasley and smirked:  
  
"Like I said, that will be twenty points from Gryffindor and detention with Mr. Filch. And if you don't like my teaching methods. . . Well, you can try to give me detention with somebody as well. . ."  
  
The Slytherins started to laugh and Snape's headache immediately reminded him of it's existence, and yesterday's party, and a hangover. . .  
  
"Quiet! Now get to work. I want you to be done with your potions before the end of the second lesson" - Snape sighed miserably. Two hours until the end of the lesson.  
  
Snape lifted his eyes and looked at Potter. The boy's lips twitched as he winked knowingly at his professor and turned back to his cauldron.  
  
AN: If you liked the story, well, you know what to do ^_^ Review! If you didn't - constructive criticism is also welcome, as long as it's not violent. 


End file.
